::
PLAYWRIGHT ::
Counting
SCENE
ONE: MARISOL
Lights up. A
woman is sitting in a robe on the couch. The TV is on. A
talk show blares in the background. She studies the Calender
section.
August 14. A
Sunday. Exactly nine months ago from today.
It was Sunday.
That weird time on Sunday when you feel like you are the
only one alive on the planet. When you wonder where everyone
is. What theyíre doing. And if you even knew anyone
to wonder about to begin with. A late afternoon movie was
usually a good way to remind yourself that indeed there
was still a world out there. There was a a double feature
playing at the New Beverly Cinema. It was ìRepulsionî
and ìPlatoon.î Marisol liked to figure out
the themes. Movies about the damned, she thought.
Blackout.
SCENE TWO: MARISOL
Lights up. Marisol
looks for a seat in the dimly lit theater.
She found a seat
somewhere in the middle of the theater. To her left was
a spattering of film school types sneaking a little inspiration
in between classes. The rest of the theater was sprinkled
with the usual afternoon attendees. Screenwriters down on
their luck. Stashed away in her knapsack she had the neck
pillow her mother sent her for Christmas. Marisol took it
out and wedged it comfortably at the base of her skull.
She unveiled a Tupperware container from out of a crumpled
piece of aluminum foil. It was filled with piping hot oatmeal
and mushed bananas. Marisol sunk into her seat. The light
from the movie screen flickered across her face like a dying
pulse. She was smiling for the first time that day.
Blackout.
SCENE TWO: LOUISE
and ROLAND
Lights up. A
man and a woman are playing Scrabble on the couch.
The present.
Louise and Roland
had been in a fight during the entire Scrabble game. It
started out with something having to do with bookshelves.
And then escalated into a full on theoretical debate over
which had more caffeine, Earl Grey or English breakfast.
#
Roland kept score. Louise chewed on a straw. She had recently
given up cigarettes.
Louise: Iím
having dinner with Jeffrey tonight.
Roland: um-hm.
Louise: UM-HM (emphatically)
Roland: What was that?
Louise: You know what that was. Thatís not how you
spell ìrattan.î Two ìtís.î
Roland: Iím supposed to be bothered that your having
dinner with Jeffrey? Or something. You want me to get mad
at you.
Louise: You were telling me that Iím turning into
a drag queen myself. That I hang around with too many drag
queens. That I should make some straight friends. You know
Jeffrey.
Roland: Yeah?
Louise: I tell you Iím having dinner with Jeffrey.
All you say is ìum-hm.î
Roland: I forgot how to spell ìbanana.î
Louise: Thatís why you bought those bookshelves.
You know I hate pine. You know I hate pine.
Roland: Is this part of your disease? I thought they gave
you pills?
Louise: Just say it.
Roland: I am not in love with you anymore.
Louise: How long? How long have you known?
Roland: I donít know. Six months maybe. I found an
apartment.
Louise: Where?
Roland: Downtown. In a warehouse. I can do my work there.
Louise: Youíre moving downtown.
Roland: Next weekend. I rented a truck.
Louise: What kind of truck?
Roland: A truck. I donít know. I donít remember
the name.
Louise: Am I ugly? Am I so ugly? I think you should tell
me.
Roland: Youíre beautiful. You are very beautiful.
Iím not in love with you. You know that. Youíve
known. Weíve both known.
Louise: Am I so ugly inside? Am I being punished? I canít
think right now.
Roland: No, you are not being punished. You werenít
a bad girl.
Louise: Was I good?
Roland: Often. Often good.
Louise: I was good. I know I was good. Everyone told me.
Your friends.
Roland: I have good friends.
Louise: I like them. Are they helping you move?
Roland: No. I rented a truck. It comes with a man. I thought
I should do this myself.
Louise: You thought you should do this yourself.
Roland: Um-hm.
Louise: Um-hm.
#
Silence.
Louise: Itís raining out. I hate driving in the rain.
Iím going to call Jeffrey. And then Iím going
to order pizza.
Roland: Dominoís or Domianoís?
Louise: Dominoís. Itís faster.
Roland: Youíre winning.
Louise: I am?
Blackout.
SCENE THREE:
LOUISE AND ROLAND
Lights up. In
the kitchen. Roland is looking at movie schedules in the
Calender section. Louise is making a salad. They both smoke.
Sunday. August
14. Exactly nine months ago from today.
Louise: Did you
send my sister a birthday card?
Roland: Was I supposed to?
Louise: I reminded you last week. Her birthday is tomorrow.
The fifteenth. Sheís going to be 35.
Roland: I forgot. The fifteenth is a bad day for me. My
Uncle Sam died on the fifteenth. I think I loved Uncle Sam
more than my own father.
Louise: You never told me that.
Roland: I always forget the fifteenth. Thatís why.
Until you reminded me. Until it was your sisterís
birthday.
Louise: Iím sorry.
Roland: Itís okay.
Louise: Weíre having cake here tomorrow night. Something
with pralines in it. She loves pralines. I have to pick
it up tomorrow.
Roland: Youíre a good sister.
Louise: You'd do the same.
Roland: I donít have a sister.
Louise: If you did. You'd do the same.
Roland: That movie you wanted to see is starting in twenty
five minutes.
Louise: We wont make it.
Roland: Yes we will. If we leave right now weíll
make it.
Louise: Iím making a salad.
Roland: You can eat it later.
Louise: You know I canít go to the movies if Iím
hungry.
Roland: You can get popcorn.
Louise: I donít eat that popcorn. You know I donít
eat that popcorn.
Roland: Twizzlers then. They have no fat in them.
Louise: I donít want Twizzlers. I want salad. I want
this salad.
Roland: Bring it with you. Letís go. Iím getting
your jacket. Iíll drive.
#
Louise: I donít want to bring it with me. I cant
bring it with me. I want to eat it here. Now. Iím
not even done. Are we out of tomatoes? I need tomatoes.
Roland: You know I donít eat tomatoes. I hate tomatoes.
Louise: Go to the movie, Roland. Go and see my movie.
Roland: Okay. Iím going then. Be back later. See
you later.
Louise: See you later
Roland exits.
Louise searches the refrigerator for tomatoes.
Blackout.
SCENE FOUR: ROLAND
Lights up. Roland
enters the darkened movie theater. He creeps around looking
for a seat. Then finds one.
Roland entered
the darkened theater balancing a jumbo popcorn, a coke and
a large bag of Twizzlers. He followed a sweet smell that
reminded him of home and sat down next to it. The movie
had already started. It was still the opening credit sequence.
The titles of people in the movie flashed across his face
like thoughts. The movie was in black in white. On the screen
was an image of Catherine Denuve in what looked like a cream
colored dress. She had a face like glass, he thought. A
face that could scare him. That could send chills down his
spine. He was happy he had ordered the coke without ice.
Blackout.
SCENE FIVE: LOUISE
Lights up. Louise
is sitting on the couch. Staring out at the television.
The TV blares. It is a talk show. She eats salad, bite after
bite without pause while flipping through a magazine. She
does not look at the pages. The radio is also on. It plays
classical music very loud. She is in a trance.
Blackout.
SCENE SIX: MARISOL
AND ROLAND
Lights up. Outside
theater. Roland is already outside, inhaling deeply on the
last drags of a cigarette. He studies the movie poster in
the glass window. From upstage center Marisol enters. She
is just now exiting the theater. She has a cigarette between
her lips and looks through her bag for a match. She approaches
Roland.
#
Marisol: Do you have a light?
He hands her a light without looking at her. Stays focused
on the poster in the glass.
Marisol:Thank you.
Roland: Youíre welcome.
Marisol: That was creepy.
Roland: What?
Marisol: The movie. That movie. I didnít know it
was going to be so creepy.
Roland: I donít like creepy.
Marisol: Why did you see it then?
He turns to her.
Roland: It was the right time.
Marisol: Itís like that sometimes.
Roland: It is.
Marisol: I donít know about the next one.
Roland: ìPlatoon.î
Marisol: I donít know.
Roland: You have something on your face.
Marisol: I do?
Roland: There. On your chin. And on your shirt.
Marisol: Itís oatmeal. And this is bananas.
Roland: I sat next to you. I sat sort of next to you. In
the winters when I came home from school my mother would
make me oatmeal and smushed bananas.
Marisol: I say ìmushed.î
Roland: I donít know about ìPlatoon.î
Marisol: Do you have an extra cigarette? That was my last
one.
He hands her a cigarette and lights it for her. They face
the street (audience) as if watching cars race by.
Roland: I donít like war movies. I donít like
Charlie Sheen.
Marisol: I saw him at Sunset Plaza once. At a store. I forget
which one. He likes to shop.
Roland: He does?
Marisol: Yes. He does. (Looks back at theater) The movie
is starting.
Roland: Iíve had enough.
Marisol: Me too. Iím guess Iím going to go
home.
Roland: Me too. Home, I guess?
Blackout.
SCENE SEVEN: JEFFREY
Lights up. A
man is sitting in a bathrobe on the couch. On the coffee
table is a mass of imaginary makeup and brushes. His hair
is pulled back and he is applying makeup very carefully
as if looking in a mirror
#
placed on the coffee table. The sound of the Melrose Place
blares...
Jeffrey lived
alone. He hadnít had a lover in two years. Not since
Thomas passed away. They had been together since art school.
Thatís where he and Louise met. Jeffrey was a make-up
artist. He was famous for creating the most beautiful faces
on the most famous people in town. Often after one of Jeffreyís
face creations these famous people couldnít even
recognize themselves. So beautiful they were, people who
knew them, or thought they knew them, might not even know
it was them. These days Jeffrey stay home a lot. At night
he orders in and watches TV. Dateline or Melrose place mostly.
He lies out his tools in front of him and practices on himself
the faces he is so famous for.
Blackout.
SCENE EIGHT:
LOUISE
Lights up. Louise
is in her kitchen.Washing dishes on the phone.
Louise: What
are you doing? Can I come over?
Blackout.
SCENE NINE: MARISOL
AND ROLAND
Lights up. Marisol
and Roland sit across from each other in a diner. They use
the fold out metal chairs as the booth.
Marisol: Is it
dinner time already? Everyone is eating dinner here.
Roland: In the diner people eat dinner early. They eat the
Early Bird Special. See?
He points to a sign.
Roland: Itís five. Do you have to be somewhere?
Marisol: No. Well. Yes. Sort of. A meeting. I missed it.
It was at four thirty.
Roland: You were an alcoholic once.
Marisol: No.
Roland: A drug addict. You shot liquid drugs into your veins
to get high.
Marisol: No.
Roland: What were you then? What were you?
Marisol: I wasnít bad.
Roland: I didnít say those things were bad. I was
just stating facts.
Marisol: They arenít facts because they arenít
true.
Roland: Not for you.
Marisol: Not for me.
Roland: You werenít bad.
#
Marisol: What are you getting?
Roland: What?
Marisol: I wasnít bad. What are you getting?
Roland: The Early Bird Special. You?
Marisol: Iíll get the same.
Blackout.
SCENE TEN: JEFFREY
AND LOUISE
Lights up. Jeffrey
and Louise are sitting on the couch folding laundry. As
they watch the TV.
Louise: I should
have just put away the salad.
Jeffrey: If I was preparing a beautiful feast for myself
and someone tried to tear me away to see a movie. I donít
think so. What lipstick is that?
Louise: Itís my sisters. I know. I canít wear
pink.
Jeffrey: Honey, please.
He hands her a napkin. She wipes it off.
Louise: He smelled so good.
Jeffrey: When?
Louise: When he left. For the movie. He smelled so damn
good. Like the pipe tobacco my fatherís friend used
to smoke.
Jeffrey: Victory always smells good.
Louise: Youíre saying he won then.
Jeffrey: You are feeling defeated and regretful. Then yes,
he won.
He holds up her panties.
Jeffrey: You should bleach these next time.
Louise: Do you think he notices the stains in my underwear?
Jeffrey: Of course. We always do.
Louise: Oh god, how can he smell like pipe tobacco and notice
stains and win all the time? Heís always winning.
Jeffrey: Some people just have it like that.
Louise: They do, donít they.
Jeffrey: Um-hm.
Louise: I canít watch anymore news.
Jeffrey: Itís all thatís on. Itís news
time. Six oíclock.
Louise: I should be getting back.
Jeffrey: Ninety seven people died in a plane crash over
Zimbabwe and one thousand have died from Ebola in Zaire.
Donít go. Iím ordering in. Pasta and that
bread that sounds like an infection.
Louise: Foccacia.
Jeffrey: Foccacia. You like that.
Louise packs up her laundry and heads for the door.
#
Louise: No. I have to go. I have to get back. Thanks for
doing my laundry. Iíll be sure to bleach these.
Jeffrey: (sings) ìAt first I was afraid, I was petrified.
Just thinking I could never live without you by my side.î
Kiss-kiss. Love-love.
Louise: Kiss-kiss. Love-love. How do you win?
Jeffrey: Honey, why donít you come over one of these
days and Iíll do your face. Youíll feel much
better.
Blackout.
SCENE TEN: MARISOL
AND ROLAND
Lights up. Marisol
and Roland stand under a dim street lamp. A flickering neon
light is obscured by a scrim in the background. It is very
dark.
Marisol: Thanks
for the dinner. You didnít have to pay for it.
Roland: I won forty dollars on a bet.
Marisol: What did you bet?
Roland: I bet it would rain in July.
Marisol: Thatís a strange bet.
Roland: It rained and I won.
Marisol: It was a good bet then.
Roland: It was. It was good. The Beef Borgingon.
Marisol: It was very good. Who would have known?
Roland: Will I see you again?
Marisol: I donít know. Will you?
Roland: Yes. I will. I will see you again.
Marisol: Iíd like that.
Roland: Iíll call you.
Marisol: Call me.
Roland: Your number. Iíll write it down on my driverís
license.
Marisol: Donít do that. Here.
She hands him a business card.
Roland: What does it say?
Marisol: Read it.
Roland: ìMarisol. When thereís nothing left.î
You live in the Valley.
Marisol: Thatís where I work. Itís a house
on the hill.
Roland: A house on the hill. I had a dream last night. I
was putting on a puppet show with my hands. My left hand
wore an athletic tube sock with three red stripes. That
hand was ìSomething.î The other hand wore a
plain tube sock. That hand was ìNothing.î In
the show, Something was wrestling with Nothing. Something
was trying to make itself out of Nothing by eating it up.
If it could get full of nothing than at least it would be
full, it thought, still feeling empty even though it was
Something.
#
My left hand was trying to devour my right hand. My two
hands. Fighting each other. The two tube socks. One with
red stripes. One white. Nothing was calm in the face of
itís death. Almost laughing. Knowing it was going
to get eaten by this monster, Something. In itís
final moments of life as Nothing it was taunting and resolved.
Saying ìGo ahead eat me youíll still be the
loser Iíd rather be nothing knowing that Iím
nothing that I always was nothing and Iíll always
be nothing and that even if you eat me Iíll still
be nothing but youíll just be Something full of Nothing.î
Marisol: Youíll call me.
Roland: Tomorrow. Morning.
Marisol: Until the morning then.
Roland: Until the morning.
They take each
other by the hands. Feeling each others palms and fingertips,
looking at each otherís hands intensely.
Blackout.
SCENE ELEVEN: LOUISE
Lights up. Louise
is at the wheel of her car. Smoking. She talks to the audience
as she drives.
Sometime around
that time.
Louise: Iíve
been working hard in therapy. Thatís what she told
me. I donít think sheís much older than I
am. My therapist. I trust her though. I want to trust her.
I want to believe her. That she can help me. I want to be
helped. There might be something, she tells me. Something
chemical. Thatís why I do things. Certain things.
I wonder if anyone notices. Thereís medication. We
can talk about it, she says. When,? I say. When? Next time.
We are going to talk about it next time.
Blackout.
SCENE TWELVE:
LOUISE AND ROLAND
Lights up. Louise
and Roland are on the couch facing the audience. They watch
TV. And smoke.
Louise: Ninety
seven people died in a plane crash in Zimbabwe and one thousand
people have died from Ebola in Zaire.
Roland: Everybodyís dying these days.
Louise: Does she die at the end of ìRepulsion?î
Roland: Who?
Louise: Catherine Denuve. In the movie. The end. Does she
die?
Roland: Youíve seen it before.
Louise: I know. I forgot.
#
Roland: I left early.
Louise: You left early.
Roland: It was creepy. It was giving me the creeps. I went
outside to
smoke.
Louise: You left before the end of the movie. You didnít
stay to the end. Youíre always leaving early.
Roland: Youíre trying to say something .
Louise: Youíre always getting the creeps and always
leaving early. Thatís how youíll die.
Roland: From that.
Louise: Yes. It will kill you. It will take a long time.
But it will kill you.
Thatís how my father died.
Roland: You never told me that.
Louise: He was so handsome. He smelled like a campfire.
Roland: Do you believe in love at first sight?
Louise: I want to.
Roland: Did your father love your mother?
Louise: I donít think they knew. I donít think
they knew what love was in those days.
Roland: What about now? Do we know now?
Marisol: I donít know. I donít think anybody
knows. Thatís why they write songs about it.
Blackout.
SCENE THIRTEEN:
MARISOL AND LOUISE
Lights up. Marisol
and Louise are sitting across from each other in an office
reception area. They use the fold out metal chairs. They
read magazines. Silence.
Blackout.
SCENE FOURTEEN: ROLAND
Lights up. Roland
is on the couch watching TV. Smoking. The phone rings. He
answers it.
Roland: Hello.
Hi Jeffrey, Louise isnít here. Should be back around
six, six thirty. I wont be here. Got it. Iíll leave
her a note. Um-hm. Same to you.
He hangs up the
phone. Switches channels. with the remote. Lights up another
cigarette and smokes. With the remote, he makes the TV louder
and louder until it is totally blasting. It is a talk show.
Blackout.
#
SCENE FOURTEEN: MARISOL AND LOUISE
Lights up. Back
in the office reception area. Marisol puts down her magazine.
She looks around nervously. Louise stays focused on her
magazine.
Marisol: Can
we smoke in here?
Louise: Of course not. You canít smoke inside anymore.
Anywhere. Not even here.
Marisol: Well, I figured-
Louise: You figured wrong.
Marisol: Iím nervous.
Louise: Weíre all nervous.
Marisol: Itís my first time.
Louise: Um-hm.
Silence.
Marisol: How long have you been coming here?
Louise: Excuse me?
Marisol: Iím sorry.
Louise: Ten months.
Marisol: Ten months. Is that a long time?
Louise: It depends.
Marisol: On what?
Louise: On when you start ìworking,î as they
say. Thatís when you start counting the time. When
you start ìworking.î What time is it?
Marisol: Four twenty nine.
Louise: One more minute. Donít start counting until
youíve started to ìdo the work,î as
they say.
Marisol: Have you started? Counting?
Louise puts down magazine. Thinks.
Louise: Yes. I have. I think I have.
Marisol: I hear a door.
They both look out to audience.
Louise: What time is it?
Marisol: Four thirty. And a voice. A womanís voice.
Louise: Thatís mine. Thatís her.
Louise stands up. Walks downstage.
Marisol: Thank you.
Louise: For what?
Marisol: I donít know. Just thank you.
Louise: Youíre welcome.
Louise walks
to the edge of the stage. Marisol gets up after her as if
wanting to say one more thing. Or ask one more question.
Black out.
#
SCENE FIFTEEN: MARISOL AND ROLAND
Lights up. Marisol and Roland are sitting at the same diner.
They are eating dinner.
Somewhere between
nine and six months ago.
Marisol: The
Early Bird Special looks good. Itís too bad.
Roland: Weíre too late.
Marisol: I know.
Roland: Another meeting?
Marisol: How did you know?
Roland: Iím lucky like that.
Marisol: It was good.
Roland: Tell me about it.
Marisol: It was nice. He asked me things.
Roland: A ìhe.î What kind of things?
Marisol: Things about my mother. My father. Things mostly
about my father.
Roland: Did you love him?
Marisol: My father? He scared me. Then he left us. I donít
know.
Roland: I didnít love my father.
Marisol: A man should love his father.
Roland: I didnít.
Marisol: Iím sorry.
Roland: You donít have to be. But thank you.
Marisol: I donít think I did either. He was a sad
man. He didnít know how to love. He didnít
know how to love my mother. Or me. So he left.
Roland: Iím sorry.
Marisol: Thank you.
Roland: Your welcome. The chicken pot pie. Is it good? Youíre
crying.
Marisol: I think I am.
Roland: About your father.
Marisol: Must be.
Roland: We can go somewhere. We can drive. Around.
Marisol: Yes. Letís drive around.
Blackout.
SCENE SIXTEEN:
LOUISE
Lights up. Louise
is driving. She talks to the audience.
Louise: It has
a name. Itís a disorder. Itís because I want
love too much.
Thatís not what she said. But I know thatís
what it is. So I do all these things. To make me feel loved.
So many things. I canít get on with my day. It can
be cured. The disease. Not the wanting. Iíll always
want. Iíll
#
always be wanting. Thatís how Iíll die. (Holds
up piece of paper, smiles ) A prescription. She gave me
a prescription.
Blackout.
SCENE SEVENTEEN:
LOUISE AND ROLAND
Lights up. Louise
and Roland are on the couch watching TV. Roland is giving
her a foot massage. They both smoke.
Louise: That
feels so good.
Roland: Um-hm.
Louise: Um-hm.
Roland: Change this.
Louise: I want to watch this. I love lions. Look at him.
Beautiful.
Roland: Theyíre ferocious beasts theyíll eat
you alive.
Louise: What do you know about lions?
Roland: Nothing. I know nothing about lions.
Louise: Ow.
Roland: What?
Louise: I have a blister.
He continues to rub the same spot.
Louise: Ow! Thatís my blister. Stop.
Roland: Iím sorry.
He moves his
hand up to her calf and squeezes the flesh tightly, kneading
it just aggressively enough to look like it is perhaps no
longer just a massage. He quints his eyes and watches TV.
Blackout.
SCENE EIGHTEEN:
MARISOL AND LOUISE
Lights up. Marisol
and Louise sit in the office reception area. Directly across
from each other, like in the earlier scene. A large clock
has been placed on the upstage wall. The time is 4:25.
Around five months
ago.
Louise: You look
different, Marisol.
Marisol: Iím in love.
Louise: Youíre in love.
Marisol: Iím in love with a real man.
Louise: A real man.
Marisol: His hands are like hammocks. At night he rocks
me to sleep.
#
And I think he smells like. I think he smells like-
Louise: Youíre crying.
Marisol: Itís nothing.
Louise: No. Youíre crying.
Marisol: He smells so good. And-
Louise leans in.
Louise: You can talk to me. Weíre both here.
Marisol: I donít know. Iím confused.
Louise: Youíre confused.
Marisol: I should leave him.
Louise leans in closer.
Louise: You love him. This is the first real man youíve
loved. His hands are like hammocks.
Marisol: I want him so much.
Louise slides off her chair on to her knees.
Louise: Itís okay to want.
Marisol: I want him so much.
Louise: Go on.
Marisol: I hear a door.
Louise pulls
back and quickly gets up. She is nervous and uncomfortable.
Almost disoriented. She gathers herself as if having just
been caught in the middle of some shameful moment. It is
almost as if this moment of intimacy, of truth and connection
cannot exist without some form of shame or guilt attached
to it. Marisol pats her face dry. They adjust themselves
silently and turn their heads at the exact same time out
to the audience.
Blackout.
SCENE NINETEEN:
LOUISE AND JEFFREY
Lights up. Louise
and Jeffrey sit on the couch in his apartment. Jeffrey is
applying make-up on her. The TV is on.
Louise: Itís
just something you know. I think itís built in.
Jeffrey: If itís true he is a damned fool for losing
you.
Louise: Thatís the thing.
Jeffrey: What?
Louise: He wont lose me. My eye.
She points to her eye as if itís stinging.
Jeffrey: Sorry, love.
Louise: I wont let him lose me. Heís a real man.
I know heís going to run. Like my father. Real men
run. Or they leave early.
Jeffrey. Fags are the oneís who really want relationships.
Therefore
#
youíre right. Real men run. Real men are scared men.
Youíre right.
Louise: I donít even like him.
Jeffrey: Look how beautiful you are.
Jeffrey holds up a mirror to her face.
Jeffrey: Look at that. You deserve more than a real man.
Louise: But I want too much. I donít care anymore.
He rubs my feet. At night. When were in bed. He rubs my
feet for hours. He has strong hands. Strong hands like (takes
a moment) Like hammocks. He rocks me to sleep at night.
Every night. Every night I fall asleep like a baby in his
hands.
Blackout.
SCENE TWENTY:
MARISOL AND ROLAND
Lights up. Marisol
and Roland at their booth in the diner.
Three months
ago.
Marisol: Iím
almost sorry. But Iím not. Iím not sorry.
Roland: Youíre not even sorry.
Marisol: Iíve gotten ìclarity,î as they
say. At my meetings. Thatís what I have now. I donít
need this anymore.
Roland: I hate to hurt. I hate to hurt. Other people.
Marisol: No. Yourself. You hate to hurt yourself. To feel
hurt. To feel pain.
Roland: I want everything to be right. To be all right.
All the time. I loved my Uncle Sam more than I loved my
father. Did I tell you that?
Marisol: Your voice.
Roland: I know.
Marisol: Where did you find that voice?
Roland: Iím sorry. I just-
Marisol: Donít be.
Roland: Iím sorry for not being a man. For this voice.
Marisol: Let me hear you. I want to hear you.
Roland: I donít know what it - I canít- I
donít-- who I --. What this is-- (clutches his chest)
not good-- no, not good at all-- here--right here-- I donít
feel-- I donít feel-- (Now beating his chest and
abdomen.) He tries to get up. .
Marisol: Yes. Yes. You donít feel--
Roland: Donít feel good-- not good. Not--
Marisol: Youíre not good, Roland. Youíre not
okay. Let me help you. I can-- I want to-- help--
Roland: No-- no-- you canít-- you canít--
#
He doubles over. Controrts. A prehistoric mammal in itís
final moment of extinction. He does not make a sound. All
but a single spotlight on him go out as he eases into the
rhythm of his pain. Until it becomes a dance.
Blackout.
SCENE TWENTY
ONE: JEFFREY
Lights up. Jeffrey
is in full drag. He stands in front of the mirror, facing
the audience.
The exact present.
Jeffrey: If I
was livin in the forties or the thirties or somthiní
and hadda name with a latta ìLísî and
ìRísî a name that rolled like of everyoneís
tongue at cocktail parties and afternoon teas a name like
Lollipop or Veronica and had small pretty feet with painted
red toes like little ju-ju beeís the sweet friuty
kind you get in the movies and had silky hair it wouldnít
even have to be that long chin length might be nice maybe
blonde or red ooh red would be fun you know Iíd be
a star cause Iím beautiful look me look at my face
at these eyebrows and these lashes long black lashes like
little spider webs that trap you in my gaze look at my kissable
wet and cheeks rosy as the candy apples momma used to make
make in Kansas or Oklahoma or Idaho or wherever the hell
I come from cause the whole world wants me baby everybody
loves me why they just canít get enough...
Blackout.
THE END
