90210 revisited

Oh my god Kelly’s drunk at the bar!
Oh my god Steve was adopted!
Oh my god Who really gives a fuck about steve anyway?
Oh my god Brenda got caught smoking cigarettes just like on the Brady’s!
Oh my god Brenda and Dillion did it in a hotel room after the prom!
Oh my god Will somebody please feed Donna!
Oh my god Brendon beat the latino guy for student council!
Oh my god He’s fighting reverse racism!
Oh my god The girl with the glasses is pregnant!
Oh my god She’s doing the right thing and have the baby!
Oh my god Kelly and Dillion are having sex while Brenda’s in Paris!
Oh my god Steve lives at the keg house!
Oh my god David’s having a burger at the Peach Pit!
Oh my god They’re going to see the Stones!
Oh my god Brendon has a gambling problem!
Oh my god Dillion’s dad got blown up right in front of him!
Oh my god David does speed to stay up for his radio show!
Oh my god Kelly and david are related just like on the Brady’s!
Oh my god Somebody seriously feed Donna!
Oh my god Brendon’s hanging out with a homeless guy who’s a desert storm vet!
Oh my god He’ll spend Christmas with the Walshes!
Oh my god Donna has a learning disability!
Oh my god She’s not dumb!
Oh my god David sings hip hop!
Oh my god Kelly’s a coke fiend just like her mom!
Oh my god Donna’s not a virgin anymore but she’s still emaciated!
Oh my god Somebody buy her a fucking hamburger!
Oh my god they’re all having a benefit for cerebral palsy or something like that.
Oh my god this show really tackles the issues!
Oh my god the girl with the glasses is dating someone who isn’t white!
Oh my god Donna’s in the hood!
Oh my god she’s gonna save the world!
Oh my god Brenda’s been kicked off the show!
Oh my god Steve’s having his graduation party at the yacht!
Oh my god Brandon’s meeting Bill Clinton!
Oh my god Dillion’s back and he’s ON DRUGS!
Oh my god I am a complete moron!
Oh my god I’m a neoliberal who worships the rich!
Oh my god isn’t there anything better to watch on tv?
Oh my god What’s with Dawson’s Creek?
Oh my god I’m gonna cancel my cable!
Oh my god!
I can breathe again.

Tracey Luszcz
Copyright 1998