I wrote this poem

I wrote this poem
Before.
it was smothered
Like a lion.

I wrote this poem.
A million times and
got sick of hearing my self say it.
When I wasn’t sure
what I was trying to say.
That’s the magic of memories.
Sometimes they just disappear.
That’s the beauty of science.
There’s always an explanation.
That’s the danger of metaphysics.
Saying your prayers is like
Drinking beer.

I can’t erase his breath,
Like bad advice,
On my skin.

I wrote this poem in my
Late teens/Early twenties.
Initially it was a scream,
Then a wail.
Finally, just shouting.
Until my eyes bloodshot
And bruised.

But my HMO wouldn’t cover it.

I giggle when I am nervous
Because I am
Drunk when
I am nervous.
I am nervous all
The time and
Everything’s
Funny
When you
Are drunk.

So I laugh
Like a lion
Before
I am smothered.

This poem, by

The way,
Distinguishes you from him-
When I sleep at night,
Before I dream,
I hope that
I don’t smell like smoke
And your arms are around me.

Tracey Luszcz
Copyright 2000